... disappointment

This past week, I had thought we were finally going to be pregnant and was disappointed. Really disappointed. Many tears type of disappointment. According to my default settings, disappointment leads to depression and depression makes me more disappointed in myself, which feels all the more depressing and disappointing. Thankfully, God stepped in via Daniel, my mom, and a friend (all in 1 day!) and told me to escape the cycle

My challenge for myself today is to remember disappointments that God has brought me through and gather confidence that He can handle this one.

• We wanted God to give us a job in Seattle but He clearly chose Waco for us. And then He let us see a couple of ways that the Baylor job could fit Daniel really well, just because He's nice like that.
• I didn't want the Lake City Campus of Mars Hill Church to close but have grown more and been more excited about who God is and what He can do since being at the U-District
• I didn't get in to the more prestigious grad program at UW and it would have been higher stress and I wouldn't have been in Rachel's lab, set up for the gift of a job I had this year.
• I didn't want to give up my academic pursuits until I realized how much more I enjoy teaching and kids.
• I was disappointed my dear Meg moved to Texas and now I'm so excited to have her there. I'm moving to a city that I have never even visited and I have a best of the best friend in driving distance.
• I was disappointed that I broke up with my high school boyfriend and we have been married for over 2 years now!
• I was disappointed in myself and my life in my senior year of high school and God saved my life, stopping me from committing suicide, and is still freeing me from my self-imposed legalism.
• And on this weekend, I can't imagine the disappointment that Jesus' friends faced on Good Friday. All of their hopes and trust in who Jesus was must have been crushed as they saw Him be crushed.

If God can turn that disappointment into the greatest victory of all time... I don't know about you, but I'm feeling more hopeful that He can handle my disappointments.